The past

I lit up my scented (vanilla) candle, and the flame just reminded me of my past.




There was a point in my life, when I really got into burning stuff outside my house, because my dad or my amah always do if there were too much leaves lying around arah our backyard. So i got into the habit of doing it eeeeevvvveerrryyyyy day. Hahahaha, i think i was 8 or 9 years old at that time. Yeah, i was and am still weird to this point. It was a weird habit... but I was just so into it, i think i did it probably for more than a week, everyday. Or probably less than a week, i cant remember, pokoknya i always do it after ugama school.. after 3.30pm ish. Hahahaha what made I stop from doing it huh?

I think.. maybe it was due to.. a pipe leaking, due to the burning that i did, which was near the pipe water, lying on the floor of the ground. Hahaha, then i stopped, psal takut kana marahi. Heheheh... when I think of it, it was quite funny and nostalgic. I can't believe that I got into that kind of habit. Anyhoos..

It also reminded me of when our house had blackouts and we used to lit up the candles and put many of it all around the house. I used to play with the flames, like you know how you just move your finger across the flame really2 fast. or pinch it, but do it really fast. My mom used to show us how she did it, and I was like WHOOOAAAAA, what the?? serious?? How?? isn't it hot? Hahahahaha, especially the pinching part, that was just.... incredible, hahahaha at that time. Well, im able to do that now, but back then, when you think doing it was just nearly impossible for you to, its just.. hahaha amazing.

Haihhhhh..

I was such a naughty girl dulu. Rebellious too... ohhh well.. its all in the past..

Salam :D

What a day

Today, i wake up, missed my 8am lecture, barely made it to my 9am lecture, went to another lecture hall for the 10am lecture (AWESOME STUFF- forensics!!!! do you know that you can use your teeth as a form of identification? hehehehe) , 1 hour break used to study in the library for my pros test on monday, then back to the lecture hall for 12pm lecture. 1 hour break... went to afamosa to get the vege mince with noodles (nyummy), with chocolate custard puff and 2 egg tarts, all amount up to 11nzd, but its allll worth it...

Then... i have a 3hours SIM clinic, where I do drilling on fake teeth lah, and it was sooooo dammmnnnn frustrating!!!!!!! sheeshhh, i didnt get to finish even one task. Sanak ku, well, maybe i was already feeling frustrated, pasal the tutor SIMPLY forgot to attend to me, even after he said that he's gonna attend someone and come back to me. He just simply forgot, and I was being frustrated and starting to menyamal, i just continued doing my work, thinking that he can just check my work later, and then the cavity that i drilled is just TOO big and deep for him, he asked me to get another to work on. Okay, fine.....my fault... then i got another tooth, and before doing it again, i worked on another tooth, and i underfilled it, its okay, boleh buat nanti lagi, THEN, i started to work again on the tooth that i just replaced, and still the cavity is too big. I seriously dont know what he wants.... until i asked ka nisah, and yes i understand after that. Mental ku ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .... as Pat said, one of the frustrating things in dentistry. Too bad, i'll graduate in 2 and half years. Well, success will only come with hardcore studying, and that is what im gona try and do..

Anyway, the above made me feel so shitty even until now. Talked to Ka Nisah, and some good advice from Pat, talked to my sisters, and also other people made me feel a bit better. I totally feel like crying tadi at the sim clinic.. Argghhhhh that's how bad I feel!!!!!... anyhooooo..

Tommorow's gonna have a friendly game with the malaysians, and will go and study after that for zeeeee test on monday. Haiiihhh...

Reborn

Hello peeeeeeeppssss

I am back again.

Recent events made me think whether i should relive this blog again... hahaha, end result.. now i did it.. :D

Last year had proved to be really hard for me, with all the conflicts being pushed onto my face, and being second year Dent did not even help the situation. Last year was basically HELL for me, so hard to think.. so hard to spare time even to blog, even more hard for me to spare time go msn and talk to my long distant friends. Yeah, you can say that as an excuse, but believe me, if you were being put into my shoes, you would feel the wrath, how cruciating it was... but Alhamdulillah, it all went fine, and here I am, in my third year... as smoothly cruising through my studies.. hahaha it was nothing like last year... this year was more relaxed and im a more happy person. I learn more this year, than last year. That practically proves that shoving all information into my head in such a short time is not gonna make me remember at all.

Hahaha.. looking at my past posts, which i have 'deleted' obviously, was sooooo EMO... I can't help it lah at that time, was such a depressing year, it totally buried all my happy memories... Hahaha cali because I was really being emo and depressed. Depressed constantly all through the year. Alhamdulillah, this year i have not suffered from bouts of depression, which is good. Im thankful because disini, i have lots of support... from the brunei people, and classmates. So, when im down, someone is there to cheer me up, which is good.!!!

Sayang, because im unable to lend such support to friends who are thousands miles away from me. I've been such a B#@#$ for not talking to you guys for so long. I've been trying to go online on MSN lately, because I've not talk to these people so such a looooongggg time, believe me.. I feel guilty and feel that im not a good friend to all my friends out there. Haiiiihhhhhh this is me being a bad person, i realised it, but i didnt do anything to change it.

But now, im trying hard to reverse that. With this blog, I hope to try and connect to you guys back. We havent talk in such a long time, to the point i dont know what's happening, and since I do not read people's blog as much as I did last year and the previous years, so.. yeahhhhh... end point, i feel bad, and K, dont try to rub it in. Hahahaha i know what you would say.. but anyhoo...

Anyway, what I've been up to??

Since dari Brunei, I've been busy. With.. netball practice, for a tournament organised by BruONZ. Well, at least kami inda nombor buncit, hahhahahha but yeah, i was busy with it for 2 months. Not only that, we need to practice for BruONZ gala night, in which I sang in it, but sadly, I do not hold any recordings for that, my bad.. because Syazwan doesn't know how to operate my baby camera at that time, so nda papa..

Spent a lot of time with family, got ups and downs believe me, but yeah, it all went well. Not forget to mention, i managed to gain lots of kilos from binging all those food without any exercise. So bad, that's why this year I wont be going back to Brunei. Im planning to shed all these kilos before i go back. Hahahahah YEAH RIGHT!!!!! As if i can do that... so hard to do, but so easy to say huh???

I met my kesayangans WALI and AFIF (adik2, jangan jeles YA heheheheh)... spent a helluva time with them. Awesome. I get to see Afif to walk from merunggau, I get to see wali, which I missed so much while I was in NZ. Even until now, I kept asking whether he came to my house atau inda.. That shows how much I sayang him regardless him being so naughty. Serious!!

And here in NZ, studying and starting my post as president of Brunei Student Association. We haven't started to get busy, but after the cuti ends, ill be really busy.... with cultural night and international food festival. I feel the stress already. Arghhhhhhhhh so much expectations. Takut ku banarnya!!!!!!!

And the list goes on..

Im sleepy already.

Ill show you guys my baby camera nanti.. and ill post pictures on this blog.

Insya Allah, ill try to update this blog as often as I can, and whenever Im rajin..

With this, bye people and all muslims out there, Salam :D